Chapter 5: Because of You
I backed up slowly, tears blurring my vision. How could he have done this to me? Doesn't he remember the promise he made not even a week ago? I came all this way for him and this is what I found in return.
"Tye!" I heard Jaiden shriek, his voice filled with panic. My whole body shook with anger as I felt a heavy weight at the pit of my stomach.
"Tye, please! Let me explain!" His voice was pleading and rough but distant as I turned and moved away from the room, feeling completely and utterly dejected. One half of my mind told me to turn around and let him explain. But no, there was no need to explain what I had just witnessed. It was quite obvious what I had encountered. Stopping now was not a choice for me. Cheated; I never would have even thought of this word appearing in my dictionary, but Jaiden had cheated on me. And it had only been a week. Clenching my teeth together, I continued to stagger down the hall, away from my once lover.
"Tye!" Jaiden's resonant voice echoed off the walls as I heard his fast paced footsteps advancing towards me. My stride evolved into a sprint. I tore past the lingering college students, pushing aside anyone who got in my way. I didn't care about anything. The only thing that mattered at this moment was to get away from Jaiden. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want him to see me. I was not going to turn around. I wasn't going to give in whether I wanted to or not. This pain he granted me was more than I could handle. If I wanted it to go away, I needed to stay away from him. It was over.
2 months. It was 2 months since the incident and since I've talked to or even seen him. He was all I ever thought about. Why hadn't he been erased from my mind? He should have been nothing more than a memory, just another useless being that I could forget about. I pulled my knees up against my chest, dragging some of my sheets along with it. But he was much more than a memory. I could never forget about him. Why did I still have these feelings for him after what he'd done? He doesn't know how heartbroken and miserable he'd made me become. I felt ashamed, worthless that these feeling hadn't gone away. In those past 2 months, he's called who knows how many times? I've ignored every call. I wouldn't talk to him. I couldn't. But, I would've been lying if I said I no longer loved him. Sitting on the bed made me think of the time he made that promise, obviously not keeping it. It haunted me as I slid my hand over the silky, black sheets. I couldn't stand it anymore. Standing up, I grabbed my jacket and walked out into the cold, winter night.
I trudged along the sidewalk slowly, deep in thought. I didn't have any destination in mind so I just walked aimlessly, keeping my head low, trying to shield my face from the bitter wind. As I made my way around the corner, I kept my eyes down, watching my feet as they planted themselves one before the other. I wonder what he's doing. I thought to myself. I shook my head to clear my brain but only managed to cloud it with more memories and images of his spiky, jet black hair and fluid green eyes. I only accomplished one more step before I collided with another pedestrian.
"Unf!" A loud gasp escaped my throat as I landed hard on the icy pavement.
"Are you ok?" asked a booming, raspy voice. It sounded quite familiar. I shifted to my knees and felt a strong hand grip my arm, pulling me to my feet.
"AhY- Yeah." I stammered, my face heating up in embarrassment. I glanced up to see Kyle
looking down at me
almost glowering. My eyes widened as I stared at him. What is he doing here?
"How've you been, Tye?" He asked, sort of dryly. I was surprised at the question. I rubbed my arm nervously and looked down at my feet.
" I faltered. "I- I uh
I've been ok. How are you
and Jaiden?" my voice instantly cracked on his name. Kyle did a double take at my question.
"Me and Jaiden?" He asked, full humor clear in his voice. I brought on a look of confusion and nodded half-heartedly.
"Well, yeah," I murmured. "Aren't you and him, like, a thing now?" He suddenly made me jump by bursting out laughing, his cackle was lurid and hoarse.
"Y- You're serious?" He asked, wiping his eyes of tears and looking at me, a huge grin on his face.
"Yes, I'm serious!" I raised my voice, irritated and crossed my arms. "Last time I saw you guys, you were sticking your tongues down each other's throats!" A sick feeling invaded the pit of my stomach as I felt the memory of that horrible afternoon creep back into my head. I set my jaw tightly as Kyle started snickering again.
"Man, you're funny." He sneered. I couldn't help but feel that he was neglecting answering my question. I glared at him then looked down.
"What the hell is so funny? I'm asking a serious question here!" I clenched my hands into fists. Damn. This guy was really starting to piss me off.
"You seriously think that Jaiden and I
we're a thing?" He asked me, intently. He suddenly frowned, all the amusement draining from his face, "yeah, right."
"But you guys" I began but he put a hand up to shush me.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," he muttered. "But ever since that night, he's been avoiding me. Not just me.
Everyone. He just walks down the hallways, moping and acting like a zombie. When we pass in the hall, it's like he doesn't even see me and when I try calling him, he never picks up. It's like he's been engulfed in his own mind, he doesn't see anyone else anymore." I just stared at Kyle, total disbelief overwhelming me. Lowering my eyes I stared at the sidewalk.
Could this have been because of me, because I left him? I shook my head, solemnly. No no. He's not the one who got cheated on, practically thrown away, left to rot. He's not the one trying to glue the pieces of his heart back together little by little. He's the one who hurt me, who's inflicted pain upon my heart and innocence. He's the one who destroyed my happiness. He destroyed me.
Tears welled up as my thoughts crushed me. I wiped my tears and looked up at Kyle who was studying me, a small, devilish smile forming on his mouth.
"Wait a second," He alleged. "You were dating Jaiden when you saw us making out right?" I glowered at him, and nodded, slowly. Kyle turned and started walking away.
"Y'know," He shouted, not looking back. "It was worth it." I watched as his shoulders shook with laughter and as he disappeared around the corner.
It was worth it. I kept replaying the sentence in my head but had no luck figuring out what Kyle had meant by that. Getting frustrated I pulled open the front door to my house. Before I entered, I looked over in the direction of the garage and noticed my mom's car wasn't in the driveway. She was still on her "business trip." She was supposed to be home a week ago. What the hell, Mom? She could've at least called me. Frowning, I entered the house and trudged into the kitchen, searching for food. I found a bag of chips and walked into the living room. Throwing myself on the couch, I pulled my homework out and began math equations. After an hour of attempting homework, I tossed it aside and turned on the TV.
I sat there, not even paying attention to what was on as my mind wandered back to Jaiden. I had this sudden urge to see him. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I just had to. I abandoned the chips on the couch and ran to the door, not bothering to grab my coat. Once outside, I sprinted down the street, the cold air stinging my skin and making my eyes water. But I didn't stop or slow down.
I made it to the train just in time. Paying for my ticket, I entered the train just before the doors sealed shut. I sat on one of the cushioned seats and stared out the window, realizing the decision I had just made. I had just boarded that train once again to make my way back to that wretched University, back on my way to that dorm, back on my way to him.